I have been busy living life in Tokyo. The rainy season starts tomorrow, so I am preparing for some wet pant legs. But today Japan is beautiful, and I am trying to keep it simple, though my life is rather complicated lately, full of big decisions and changes and realizations.
School...I made a decision to drop down a grade, which was the right thing, although it hurt my pride. The rest of my life has gotten rather busy and I would be having a meltdown if I hadn't done it.
I am a little embarrassed by my naivete when I keep running into words I don't know. I think I didn't expect the Japanese vocabulary to be so, um, large. I wonder which languages have smaller vocabularies. I briefly looked and apparently English has the largest, so I guess I shouldn't complain. There's probably some language in New Guinea that I could be speaking fluently by now, though.
Also, it's nice to see from the stats that people are reading this. Again, a little embarrassing that I happen to be in the midst of a semester long panic attack, but this is part of my therapy.
As it stands the level of Japanese that I can understand FAR surpasses the level I can speak at. Can this be the cause? I can understand so much, but when it comes time to speak, I still feel like I am in first level Japanese. Is this a deficiency in my study? Not speaking enough? Is it natural?
So I spent the weekend doing very little thinking about school. I did study, but tried to approach it as unconnected to a forthcoming test or oral presentation. For fun and personal research, I pretended. I think this helped. At least I didn't have a headache all weekend.
I'll try this approach this week and see if I can do it.
This quarter looks to be the hardest of all. My class and the one above me have been combined, so I am with people much, much better than me. Frankly, there are many times where I simply can't participate. We are reading the newspaper, and other material such as a 4 paragraph essay that, after spending 3 hours in class and 2 hours at home studying, I still don't understand.
Yep, lately various personal issues have prevented me from posting too much. But school starts back tomorrow, so I am excited to see how this quarter will unfold.
I did have a dream about school last night. I was asked to perform at a pageant. The only event was me doing a Paul Lynde impression. I had never really done a Paul Lynde impression, so I told several bizarre jokes to stall for time that people found hilarious. I remember laughing in my sleep so hard that I woke myself up.
I have been on a much needed break. I've studied a little, but I really had to do things differently. Usually I spend my school vacation doing 2 or 3 or 4 hours of review and preparation a day, and this time, I just rested. I spent some time with friends, my amazing girlfriend, and wandered around Tokyo. Oh, I have a couple part time jobs, (very part time, next week I work 6 hours between the 2 of them), but this week I worked every day.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/v/Dd54kWY4_GM]
Pride is an obstacle. I so want to be able to speak properly that I get frustrated when I make mistakes sometimes. Other times I'm ok, I let it roll...
涙の分だけ、強くなれ。
傷ついた分だけ、優しくなれ。
打たれた分だけ、大きくなれ。
負けたくないなら、強くなれ。
転んだら何度も、立ち上がれ。
「今に見てろ」と、笑ってやれ。
For the tears you cry, let them make you strong
When you are hurt, become gentle
When you are struck, become great
If you don't want to lose, become brave
Every time you fall, every time, get up
Look and laugh.
Maybe this is a greeting card quality poem, but Japanese makes it sound like wise advice.
