不平分子-Fuheibunshi-Malcontent. Bunshi is also "molecule".

I've always been a malcontent. Recently I realized what a drag it is to be around people like that, er, me. When a teacher explained an assignment, it was a matter of seconds until I was griping to myself about how stupid it was. Of course, my disdain came across to my classmates (usually team members) and probably to my teachers.

When I teach here, I have kids who act like this. I am embarrassed that I behaved like this as an adult.

I have very little stuff here. Clothes, books for school, computer, my bass and guitar. I gave away just about everything, but I have a few boxes of stuff stored at my mom's. The funny thing is, I don't remember what most of it is, and I don't seem to miss it. I definately don't miss the stuff I gave away.

But I still covet things, a new computer, new clothes, and new bike. I remember from a speech the Dali Lama gave, he said that our suffering is caused by the misguided assumptions of the results of our actions. If I get new stuff, I will be happier.

This semester is such a change from last semester. My attitude is better, and though I would love to credit it to my emotional and spiritual growth, the Buddha that I am, but I think I am getting a little bit better speaking and writing and understanding Japanese. Which is rather nifty, I do say.

Being with people that complain constantly is actually good inspiration. As long as I don't  try and pretend that they are any different than me.

My last semester in Japan starts tomorrow. I am excited to go back, although I feel like I have a reptilian dislike for school ingrained in me. When class ends, I involuntarily race for the door. Maybe there is some anxiety I should take a look at....

I may go buy a new electronic dictionary today. The money is burning a hole in my pocket.

So I am starting to talk more with my girlfriend's family. I hate making mistakes, but I have to get over it...They are nice people and I can't keep sitting there like a mute, it's just rude.

The hard part is my girlfriend thinks it's cute when I make mistakes, so she giggles. The enlightened guy that I am, I start seeing red.

It's the simple mistakes that make me just mental.

I have been doing some reading and kanji practice. It's strange how there are some kanji I just can't seem to memorize. We haven't even gotten to the real hard characters. After I finish the book I am using, then the next book covers the last 1000.

My fifth semester has ended. My new class has some great people in it, and I hope we are together next term. I feel that we are at about the same level, I hope the teachers agree. This semester's teacher, Kakinuma Sensei, was a dream. Smart, tough but easy to get along with. She has made my top 5 list of teachers.

This next term involves more report and presentation writing. If I can study Kanji and find some simple presentations to read and study, this vacation have been productive.

The way we are taught is more similar to the Japanese method of teaching than the Western method. Here we are crammed full of grammar, vocab, etc; more than we could possibly retain. I think the theory is that a higher percentage will stick, but I think a side effect is that I now know so much grammar that I have a hard time knowing how to say things. My solid foundation of Japanese is about 3-6 months behind what we are studying.

Lately on Fridays, after the tests are done, I have been going out with 3 or 4 classmates, all of which are women married to Japanese guys, and usually a few other classmates tag along. Today we went out to a Singaporean (?) restaurant, last week a Taiwanese place. I like hanging out with them, because their level of Japanese is not too much better than mine, so it is a challenge, but I can keep up. Plus they are pretty cultured and smart. One is Taiwanese, one is Chinese, and one is from Myanmar. It's interesting to see people's faces on the train, as we babble away in Japanese.

The word for sarcasm or cynicism in Japanese is Hiniku (皮肉). The first Kanji is Kawa, or flesh, hide. The second is Niku, for meat (i.e. YakiNIKU). I usually have to pay attention to my level of sarcasm. Now that I think of rending flesh, I will be even more careful.