春風の
花を散らすと
見る夢は
さめても胸の
騒ぐなりけり

The blossoms scattering in the spring wind
It was a dream
but when I awoke , they were still moving in my breast.

Ohayo!

Today it's rainy, but warm. For the first time this year, I slept with the window open. Compared to Chicago, where the weather report is so often wrong, it's really a waste of news time, Japan's weather report is fairly accurate. The seasons are predictable, but we have had a few really warm days, followed by cold ones. Yesterday was cold until about 7pm, when it warmed up considerably. That is a new phenomena for me. In Chicago, cold only becomes "freezing".

京にても
京なつかしや
時鳥

Even in Kyoto, I long for Kyoto, at the cuckoo's cry.

The writer, Basho is maybe the most famous Haiku artist in Japan.

Do you ever crave the situation you are in? As I type, it's spring in my little Tokyo neighborhood, I can hear kids playing through my open windows.

My trip is 2/3 over. I am here until late September, but I want things to stay the way they are forever. Is that too much to ask?

I was on the train, and there was an American talking to his Japanese friend in English about 5 feet from me. We briefly made eye contact and he suddenly switched to Japanese.

I smiled, because I do that too. It's a totally pride-fueled maneuver. But, I feel better knowing that there are people out there as petty as I am.

Actually, it's totally cheesy.

But as a feeble attempt at a disclaimer, I always try and speak Japanese in public. But for some reason, when I am with Japanese people, I become conscious of other Westerners.

Not much of a disclaimer. Oh well. OK, I'll say it, I sometimes care too much about how others perceive me.

Now I must go study, so I can go show off for strangers, thank you very much.

;p

I am a sentimental goof at times.

When I came to Japan in 2005, I listened to this over and over. This video is a slightly different version then the version on my iPod, but the feeling is still the same. When I listened to it back then, I had no idea what she was singing. I wanted to do a translation, but I don't think I'll have time for a few days. This song reminds me of Kyoto, Ochanomizu, Hanami, and Shinjuku.

[googlevideo=http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docId=10543249697274628]

I haven't really talked about Japanese in a while, so here's a short one. This week is all tests. Ganbarimasu.

Memorizing words is hard, but also what verbs and direct objects go together is tricky. In English, you tell a lie, in Japanese, you can use 言う (iu-to say), but also used is 吐く (tsuku) which is the same verb for "breathe" or "vomit". By the way, tsuku is one of those verbs that has like 8 different Kanji, and different subtle meanings associated with them, so most people just use hiragana.

There's more. Which make more sense?

Bad dream
English: have a bad dream
Japanese: see a bad dream (悪夢を見る)

Dog Food
English:Feed the cat
Japanese:This is hard to translate literally, but it uses "to do". So you "do the food" for the dog. (犬に餌をやる) . Yaru (やる) is used for a lot of things, homework, normal everday things you do. Oh, and ("do") sex, too.

Necktie
英語: Wear a necktie
日本語:Do a necktie. Japanese has several verbs for "do", based on politeness. Clothing accessories, earrings, etc. generally use (する), one of these verbs.

Actually, many, many nouns are turned into actions by adding "to do" (する). As an English speaker, there are logical ones; do homework, do the laundry. But there are lots of less "action-y" example; hantai suru-oppose, sansei suru-agree、or bikkuri suru-be surprised.

Japan is the only place I've ever seen a startled person give such an explanatory response to being frightened. Not "Ahh!" or "Holy S--t"; but "Bikkuri shita!!"-"I was surprised!!"

My class has three teachers; the main guy teaches 3 days/week, and then we have women on each of the other two days. That's how it's been since I started at the school. Also, even if it took me a while to warm up to the teachers, I ended up really liking all of them. Until now.

Liking isn't the right word. This one particular woman means well, but she never clicked with me or the class. Perhaps her questions and her vocabulary are a little bit above our ability,  or she treats us a little bit too much like children...It's hard to say why, but she just rubbed me and the class the wrong way. I tried, (really) to get past my personal issues and work with her, because there were time in the past that I rallied the class around other teachers they didn't like. But not this time.

Yesterday, she said it was her last class of the quarter, and it was after a particularly non-participatory lesson on the students' part. I was really down with a cold, and probably shouldn't have even been there, so my brain wasn't working and I was trying to be invisible. I felt bad, like we were ending on bad terms. I think she felt strange about it too. We all said goodbye and thanks, but there wasn't a lot of enthusiasm there. It was awkward.

Once before class we were talking and she said I was very quiet person, it seemed. This surprised me, as I might be the most extroverted person in the whole school. But I realized in her class maybe I don't contribute too much, so I told her that I wasn't quiet by nature, maybe class is just a little difficult lately. She said that the whole class was really quiet, and I told her I thought that since two new students who speak really well entered, maybe everyone else is a little shy. Just trying to be nice.

Well, she seemed shocked at my sense of perception. Basically, "wow, you really notice a lot about the class, that's really amazing!!". Maybe just a little over the top.

I think that summarizes my issue with her. Her compliments. Strange, right? But who wants, "wow, you really aren't stupid!"

In case I am misreading her, which I may be, I always bite my tongue and smile. I've had one or two other teacher that seemed this way at the beginning, so I check my ego, and they realize I am not a tool, that I just sound like one in Japanese.

Someone told me once that emotional reactions happen, it's whether I act on them or not that's important. Sometimes it's hard to just be nice.

Well, my experiment was to see how much Japanese I could learn in a year. I have been in school for 12 months at ARC Academy, a private language school. Ironically, today is the first day that I missed, because my throat is raw with a cold or strep or something. I am looking back to see what worked and what didn't, and what I can do better in the future. I am here for six more months.

I had hoped I would be further along, but I knew having unrealistically high expectations was pointless. Within the past 2 months, my ability has improved dramatically. As I am more confidant about simple conversations, I am able to try new, more complex grammar.

Bear in mind, I am not disappointed at all. As I am able to do the simplest thing; ask if a bookstore offers gift wrapping, for example, I leave the store like I just won the lottery.

When people ask, what's the best method, ultimately "learn it all" is my answer. (People never ask, by the way). At this point, I know about 800 kanji, which seems to be on the low side compared to the folks on bulletin boards who learn 2000 in 2 months. I wonder how much vocabulary they have learned? Anyway, I won't criticize anyone else's method. I am not fantastic at reading, listening, or speaking; but having an average ability in all these aspects gets you further than I would have thought.

When I am around other foreigners, especially Americans (boy do we stick out here, and I'm not really sure why), if it's convenient, I try to hear if they are speaking Japanese. I'd say about 10% are, in my experience. Is that high or low? If they are speaking really good Japanese, I am envious, and it inspires me to study more.

Anyway. In spite my cold, I am going to study. I think in about 5 minutes I will be napping, but when I wake up 30 minutes later, I will continue.

When I was playing in bands, I was around many intelligent people who were not what would be called "textbook smart". They had no knowledge of economics or calculus but could create music, discuss art and film, and held strong ideological and sociological beliefs.

I moved from the artistic world into the business world,  largely, because it was depressing to be poor, and I was tired of making 200 bucks a week as a waiter while supporting my lifestyle. On top of that, I had come to Chicago from Atlanta and I felt really out of place as a newcomer in the Chicago music scene.

Also, I had a lot of personal issues, and in order to work those out, I began seeing a therapist. She was well-meaning but rather New Age-y and I didn't see her for too long before I found someone who was a better fit. But one thing she said stuck with me. She said I was undereducated. I had never heard this word before, and it wasn't meant in a pejorative sense. It was kind of a compliment. I had always thought that Education and I had passed each other by, and at best, I saw myself as something of an autodidact, and would prove to the world that I was sufficiently smart enough that I didn't need college to be successful.

Well, the results of this mission statement have been um, mixed. I managed to find good jobs and before I came to Japan, I was making pretty a decent salary. But man, everything I acheived, seemed to be the hard way. For example, I worked as an IT consultant, and taught myself programming on the job. This entailed many long nights trying to get projects done, all the while feeling like a stupid liar for getting myself in over my head. I always came out ok, but not having learned programming properly, I invented my own terminology and methodology, and as a result, I can't really express myself well when speaking with other programmers.

Speaking Japanese, I am painfully aware of how a lack of vocabulary is limiting. Often I have to ditch entire conversations because I am missing a few fundamental words. I have the grammar, the verb conjugations, and usage in basic working order, but trying, for example, to explain American politics without using "liberal" and "conservative" and "election". It can be done, but man, that makes for a long, convoluted conversation.

It's slowly coming together, sometimes I can express myself, sometimes not. It's funny to me that I was going through the same thing in therapy, trying to express myself emotionally. I'm doing ok there, not perfect, but better then when I younger. Humans and self-expression. Be it language, art, music...it's not always easy, is it? That line from Burroughs (via Laurie Anderson) , "Language is a virus from outer space" comes to mind. We helplessly suck it up as children and pass it on to others every day. Sometimes it's poetry, sometimes it's drunken yammer. It's both noble and blunt.

Speaking on the phone in a foreign language is scary.

If you are thinking, it's hard to convey this, thus small pauses become eternities. I tried this a month ago and was hung up on while making a reservation; they probably thought I was drunk. Plus in Japan, the telephone conversation patterns are really different. I have made reservations lately and I still don't really know how to end the call. It kind of trails of in a volley of "Hai"'s and "Arigatou"'s. I need to learn the appropriate ending protocol. But I did it, and I'm happy.

I made the first reservation, then as if in a nightmare, the plans had to be changed, so I had to cancel the reservations. Or not cancel them and just not show up... I worked in restaurants for years, and I know that if you don't show up for a reservation, it's forgotten in about 15 minutes, but ultimately, canceling is the right thing to do. So I did. During the cancellation, the lady switched to English at the end, but I didn't let it bug me, I finished in Japanese. Then I made reservation at another restaurant for later in the week. There were a few moments on the call where I had no idea what he were asking me, and I gambled on "Hai" only to discover that, of course, it wasn't a yes or no question. Later, I figured out they were asking if I had any coupons, hence the confusion when I just said "Yes" without any explanation. So I had to say I didn't understand, and it was ok. The guy was easygoing, no problem.

It's a start. I'm happy. I don't have to be perfect, just willing, right?