Each item from the prior discourse is focused on. Here, the mind. The Buddha states that an undeveloped mind is unmanageable and causes suffering, while a developed mind is a happy one. Makes sense. More emphatically, he continues that an uncontrolled mind causes harm, while a tame, protected and guarded mind brings benefits.
My mind feels especially uncontrolled. My actions are not, for the most part. Not sustainable.
The Buddha discusses 10 causes and their effects, then proposes an opposing action or attention. I am changing the order a bit to pair things up in a way I like:
Number one, "attending to foul objects" appears to be a practice of meditation or consideration of, say, the death and decay of a sensual object you find alluring. It reminds me of the Samurai meditaion of death. A bit morbid, but makes sense. It's a sure cure for that girl of boy you have been obsessing about. The second is in line with the "pray for your enemies" line I have always struggled with. #3 is great: "Stop laying around like a lump after meals, go for a walk already!"
The Buddha explains the power of sensual desire. The form, sound, and even taste of (in his telling) the opposite sex, or rather, those which we desire, to expand just a tad. It is funny that above all else, all the other hindrances, it is "women" -- over money, fame, power. It's a primal instinct, though. I don't think the Buddha is warning, so much as he is making an observation.
I started because at 24 years old, I had to quit smoking, it had been 10 years. I knew quitting would not stick unless I had a deterrent, and getting in shape was the choice. I started running in my Doraville, Georgia neighborhood, about a half mile to start. As per usual, I made it my mission to never learn anything about running correctly. I made it up to 10 miles one time, a few years later. It was stop and start in Atlanta, with long breaks, to focus on smoking, drinking, and whatever else. At that point, my max distance was 3-4 miles per run.
After I finished logging my self-destruction time, many years later, I started running again and it became something else to me. I had to grow up and face my problems. I had daily stresses, anger, self-pity, resentment, selfishness, and fear as always, but I could not use alcohol to deal with it anymore. It stopped working, and I needed an outlet. I still do. My solution encompasses running and much more, but as a human with emotions, working it out through sweat and muscles is vital. I need it. I probably need it right this second.
Now I am trying to be a better runner. I run half marathons, track my time, ask questions, take direction. I still can not say I love running like others do, but I depend on it and I am grateful for the health to do it.
I can no longer running away, now I run through.
Closes all the tickets, for the first time ever.
I miss the feeling of having given everything up there. Is that again attainable? Is that gone? How can I feel that?
I am running with a group now, which is a new experience. For years, I have made running a solitary task, so it is a pleasant adjustment, despite being a bit awkward for me. I am also making an effort to forgo the headphones, both to socialize and to bring meditation back into the mix.
The first long run (7 miles) on Saturday went pretty quickly, and it made me realize how my impatience contributes to my general dislike of running, and resulting need for distraction. I had a few good five to ten minute intervals where I focused on my breath, relaxed my shoulders and kept my field of vision on the horizon. I am not sure if I can make it through the entire race without music, but it wouldn't be a bad thing if I did.
It would also be a good thing to embrace running, rather than treat it as a necessary evil.
Guys like Sting have made a career out of hiring great jazz musicians, then making them play simple 2 & 4 beats. Watching these goofy white guys I grew up idolizing, with these voices from heaven standing behind them, blows me away. From Tina Turner and Ray Charles to Lynyrd Skynyrd, the singers approached their role with such humility and grace.
Was about songs that make us cry, and it was a good one. I didn't cry over any of them, but Song of the Siren, A House is Not a Home, Moon River, are all great picks. I would add Sia's "Breathe Me." Catherine Wheel: Goodbye.
They also made mention of LCD Soundsystem's perfect depiction of the feeling of time flying by in "All My Friends." As one who is prone to nostalgia and existential dread, such lyrics make me get lost in memories of crazy times, in faraway lands, with long-lost guys and girls:
Though when we're running out of the drugs
And the conversation's winding away
I wouldn't trade one stupid decision
For another five years of liesYou drop the first ten years just as fast as you can
And the next ten people who are trying to be polite
When you're blowing eighty-five days in the middle of France
Yeah, I know it gets tired only where are your friends tonight?
I hope I never get so content dwelling in the past that I stop trying to learn, grow, face my fears, turn off the TV, open my mouth, and take that first step.
when they look at the work you did as "an MVP" and can barely contain their amusement.
