Stuff. People are becoming aware that Americans have become craving monkeys. There are people like Annie Leonard, who created the Story of Stuff. But when viewed from an environmental point of view, a more important point is missed. Then there is  Reverend Billy Talen with What Would Jesus Buy. Paul Graham hits the nail on the head, with his essay Stuff.

I got the impression that Japanese people place more importance in quality over quantity. Maybe it's the lack of space, but it affected the way I live now. Even beyond the things I own. I don't need a venti coffee. Small is nice.

The word consumerism is overused and has lost meaning for me. Sometimes when words become too associated with some cliche or stereotype, I like to look at the definition. Consumerism: Attachment to materialistic values or possessions. The trick for me was to quit making exceptions.

If this becomes a fad, I don't expect it to be a very long-lived one. However, my dependence on buying for pleasure, once recognized, was easy to overcome.

At the beginning of this woodshedding process, I am really fidgety. I am sad and worried about my Japanese going down the drain, worried that I should just be consulting and trying to get back to Japan without a degree, worried that this degree is a nail in the coffin of my creativity. I'm antsy. A little wigged. Kinda all over the place.

So I am going to drink some tea, listen to gagaku and read.

I had somehow lost about half of my itunes music, stuff I bought, and burned myself. It was on my iPod, so I didn't even realize it for a long time. Anyway, I finally figured out how to copy it back onto my hd, and in the process managed to deleted it all. So I got some of it back, maybe 1/8. And while it is nice having Venom and Ween back on my hard drive, all the music I was listening to on my iPod is kaput. The Buddha sure was right about impermanence. I didn't believe it.

School is good. I am meeting with one of the schools I want to transfer to, to make sure I am taking the right classes. I dropped the statistics course, because I have a feeling it won't transfer, and I got general bad vibes about the class. The rest of the classes are good.

The job is strange. It's a family that has no idea what a family business is. Why am I still doing this? Helping people start there own things. Well,for one thing, because I did the same thing 3 years ago, before Japan. I halfway started a business, and were too scared to pick up the phone. Fear eats the soul, ne. So that's why I have to understand what this guy is dealing with.

Calm down, boy. School is the priority. I started looking for part time jobs where I can speak Japanese. I think that would be ideal. I need to speak Japanese.

Also, I want to take advantage of the best thing about Chicago. People from everywhere live here, and I do nothing but go to their restaurants, like a total booj. I am going to learn every language, one person at a time. I had a conversation with a Bosnian lady at the supermarket, she taught me some Bosnian, but I don't remember. Anyway, we had a good laugh.  I love meeting people.

Well, I managed to piss off my roommates. The fish was good. What isn't so nice is the faint odor of fish oil that now permeates the apartment. I have been burning incense, but even after a day, I can still smell it. I guess I'm glad I only cooked one fish.

I started classes today. Life is good when it's in four hour intervals. Four of school, Four work, Four of homework and study, Four times two of sleepytime.

I instinctively raised my hand and said "hai" when my name was called, ala Japan style. I have to get used to reading things I find boring. I want to figure out a way to make them interesting. I will succeed.

I went to Mitsuwa today. Man, what a trek. From where I live in Chicago, it takes about 2.5 hours to get there. 2 buses, 2 trains. Trips like today really illustrate how utterly pathetic Chicago public transportation has gotten, trains just do not come. All the while, you hear recordings about how underfunded they are and to call the government on their behalf, or they will have to cut bus and train lines. It's hard to empathize, when you have surly workers, late trains, filthy stations. Once you leave the city proper, buses start to follow the schedule, and bus drivers get friendlier.

On the way back, I gave up and took a cab. I was chilled to the bone from standing outside for an hour, and I couldn't carry the bags on another train and bus. That was a $30 dollar cab ride, but it was freezing outside and I talked to the driver about Kurdistan. Nice guy. Kurds have an interesting history, although what he told me doesn't seem to jibe with wikipedia. So, maybe I was bullshitted for 45 minutes. At least it was warm.

At Mitsuwa, I had my traditional miso ramen set, bought some fish I am going to try and grill, and a few books. I got to speak Japanese a few times, like when I special-ordered a book. I don't get complimented, which I am convinced is a good sign when speaking to Japanese. I also bought a book to give to my new landlord. I am trying to adopt some Japanese customs, as I think it really does create a more pleasant environment.

I think I cured my headaches through breathing properly. Now I am trying to train myself to breath correctly all the time. All the smart Buddhist teachers I've met said that breathing is everything. I had headaches every day this week - due to stress, I thought; but it's been three days free of pain. I feel it coming on, and start counting and breathing deeply.

I hope this is all it is. That would be nice, and I am willing to accept that somehow, for the past ten years, I have been breathing wrong.

If I was still in Japan, we would be finishing the fall term now. Last year, my girlfriend and I spent Christmas eve in a nice hotel, and New Years Eve in a mediocre hotel. No complaints.

Well, I have a job, and I found out I have a place to live next month. So I can get out of my kind aunt and uncles house. Also my parents are giving me money for a new laptop, as this one is loud and slow and overheats constantly. Plus it's big, and old. Yeah, I'm talking about you.

I have settled in a little more. I still study every day, about an hour each day. Reading Listening Vocab and Kanji. Plus a little meditation in the morning. As soon as I can move in to my new apartment, I will feel much more stable. I can finally take my clothes out of their duffel bags and put them, er, in whatever I buy to put them in.

I haven't bought a single present, I will go buy my Aunt and Uncle something Japanese.

I haven't really craved a social life. I have friends that I have dinner with now and then, but I have been to a bar once since I was back, and it was for about 30 minutes. I don't want to drink, or waste time on anything that will cloud my thinking. I don't want a full appointment book. I want to practice Japanese, and get my degree and go back to Japan.

I love Japanese. I was having a mildly crappy day. The weather is cold, wet, and rainy. I was wandering Chicago all day running errands, and killing a lot of time in between them drinking coffee, tea, and other cardboard Starbucks food. I didn't sleep well last night, and I really wanted a nap. I longed for the Shinjuku internet cafe I could crawl into and nap, or even the Tokyo Starbucks, where it's ok to sleep, if you do it discreetly. Oh, the McDonalds next to the ShinOkubo station, it's forbidden, by the way.

Then I had my lesson, and I felt recharged. I like my teacher, she's not really a teacher,  rather a Japanese woman who married an American, who does lessons for fun on the side, but she's got a nice personality and is smart. We are going to be doing a drama script together, we went over it today. After speaking Japanese for an hour, my mood was much better. I'm glad I have something like this that love to do. I feel like after having a conversation for an hour, I can call myself "conversational".

Part of the fun of being in IT, is explaining things to people that that are common sense to me, but unacceptable to others, until they go through the pain that I have been through. Maybe it's true of any industry. Making a suggestion, i.e., here's a better way, and being told, thanks but we will stick with the way we do it, just try and make it work.

Maybe I don't present my advice as strongly as I should. I mean, it's not really advice anyway, as much as "Put more than .50 cents in your gas tank when you go to the gas station", is advice. But then I am told, "Well, .50 cents gets me there, and at the gas station, I can wash my windshield. So this is better, isn't it? So here's one dollar, for today and tomorrow."

I have to quit breaking in new business owners.