I added a couple of speeches I gave, you can access them through the craftily named "stuff" link at the top.
I've been speaking a lot more lately, at school, and around Japan. I have a little more confidence, and I am realizing that as all things end, at least temporarily, I will be leaving Japan in October probably. So, I am trying to maximize my time here. As a result, I make a lot of mistakes, get tangled up, hit dead ends, and my sentences take crazy turns. The hardest part is standing up, brushing myself off, and moving on.
I am the clown, and the Japanese language is my tiny car.
When I am talking, sometimes in the back of my head, I am thinking, "I wonder if I am making any sense." Then my fears are confirmed with blinking, blank faces. I wonder, "Was it my pronunciation? Was it my grammar?"
Or sometimes I answer a question, and after a few blinks, they ask me the exact same question, thus telling me that I have answered an altogether different, unasked question. Although, I have to sheepishly admit, sometimes I do this on purpose. If I understand 80% of the question, I will give an expansive answer and hope that somewhere in there, I cover my bases. Kind of like how a politician answers a question, where after the answer, you say, "What the hell was the question?"