When I was playing in bands, I was around many intelligent people who were not what would be called "textbook smart". They had no knowledge of economics or calculus but could create music, discuss art and film, and held strong ideological and sociological beliefs.
I moved from the artistic world into the business world, largely, because it was depressing to be poor, and I was tired of making 200 bucks a week as a waiter while supporting my lifestyle. On top of that, I had come to Chicago from Atlanta and I felt really out of place as a newcomer in the Chicago music scene.
Also, I had a lot of personal issues, and in order to work those out, I began seeing a therapist. She was well-meaning but rather New Age-y and I didn't see her for too long before I found someone who was a better fit. But one thing she said stuck with me. She said I was undereducated. I had never heard this word before, and it wasn't meant in a pejorative sense. It was kind of a compliment. I had always thought that Education and I had passed each other by, and at best, I saw myself as something of an autodidact, and would prove to the world that I was sufficiently smart enough that I didn't need college to be successful.
Well, the results of this mission statement have been um, mixed. I managed to find good jobs and before I came to Japan, I was making pretty a decent salary. But man, everything I acheived, seemed to be the hard way. For example, I worked as an IT consultant, and taught myself programming on the job. This entailed many long nights trying to get projects done, all the while feeling like a stupid liar for getting myself in over my head. I always came out ok, but not having learned programming properly, I invented my own terminology and methodology, and as a result, I can't really express myself well when speaking with other programmers.
Speaking Japanese, I am painfully aware of how a lack of vocabulary is limiting. Often I have to ditch entire conversations because I am missing a few fundamental words. I have the grammar, the verb conjugations, and usage in basic working order, but trying, for example, to explain American politics without using "liberal" and "conservative" and "election". It can be done, but man, that makes for a long, convoluted conversation.
It's slowly coming together, sometimes I can express myself, sometimes not. It's funny to me that I was going through the same thing in therapy, trying to express myself emotionally. I'm doing ok there, not perfect, but better then when I younger. Humans and self-expression. Be it language, art, music...it's not always easy, is it? That line from Burroughs (via Laurie Anderson) , "Language is a virus from outer space" comes to mind. We helplessly suck it up as children and pass it on to others every day. Sometimes it's poetry, sometimes it's drunken yammer. It's both noble and blunt.