Pride is an obstacle. I so want to be able to speak properly that I get frustrated when I make mistakes sometimes. Other times I'm ok, I let it roll...
I was at my real estate agent, renewing my lease, and I had to re-copy my basic information. On my previous contract, it was written strangely, 1-21-1 何々町何々区東京都, basically backwards. But filling out the contract, as I've learned, is like microsurgery, it has to be done exactly right, or everybody frets. So I filled it out like it was on the other contract, with my house address first. Afterwards, the gaijin that was helping me told me that next time, start with Tokyo.
I felt my self getting annoyed. Yes, I know that, I said, but I was filling it out like it was previously. He wasn't a native English speaker, so I'm not sure if he understood my frantic efforts to explain that I am a smart person.
Actually, the same kind of thing happened last night. A really good friend of mine and I were waiting for a train to pass, and I was trying to remember the words for a local train, that stops at every stop (各駅停車）, so I was saying something like "毎駅に止まっている電車ってなんていうの？"; but the "maieki" part confused my friend, and they spent a lot of time telling me that Japanese people don't say that. I know, I said. I am trying to ask the correct way...
Again, I felt myself getting upset. Not being able to accurately convey my thinking is really hard. And the last thing I want to do is react with impatience or testiness.
Ugh. I need scream therapy. About 20 minutes of it. But Japan is too quiet, they will think someone is trying to kill me.