When I was preparing for the speech contest, I had my roommate listen to my Japanese and critique my pronunciation and recitation. There were some rough spots that I was expecting, to be sure. But I was surprised to find that some of the first words that I learned, I have been pronouncing incorrectly. Simple, everyday words. This had made me go back and look at how I pronounce many words, especially the ones that I have been taking for granted.
This also made me think of what someone I know called our "blind spots". The things that we do over and over without knowing it. How often do you hear someone say, "I keep meeting the same type of (guy) girl", without acknowledging their own part in this process?
Or how we talk about ourselves. When I was in therapy, I became aware of how often I put myself down. I don't do it anymore, but from others, I still hear it often. Recently, I was talking with a friend, who kept saying how pathetic she was, in sort of an off-handed, "trying to be funny" way. The more I heard it, I wanted to cringe. The only one who thought that was her, but now I associate that with her. My therapist said, "Maybe you don't mean it, but your ears hear it and your brain remembers it." So, I talk about myself in a respectful manner, as strange as that sounds.
Things like this, the things we don't even know we do, can be so much more important, than all the things we consciously try and do. I wonder what else I do by rote?